If I Ran The Zoo...

A few days ago, one of my friends asked me why I was taking German. I shuffled through the various reasons:

• because I've heard too many lame jokes about choking on your food and being mistaken for speaking German
  
• because after three years of Latin in High School, I didn't feel up for another romance language, but wasn't quite ready to commit to hours of meticulous scratching over kanji or Chinese script during my first semester of college
• because Germany and Austria sounded completely bomber places to visit
• because it wasn't Spanish, which somehow seemed so boring (and now, I envy the pure range of communication that any Spanish speaker has, just the functionality of being able to speak with so many people in America...unfortunately, there aren't that many Germans wandering the Utah highways, asking for directions...)

and then suddenly, I realized why:

Because when I take over the world, I'll be able to communicate with the most organized and technical people on Earth, who have already had some decent experience with world domination.
Bingo.

And then my friend reminded me that with my background in Latin, I'll have both the Germans AND the Romans behind me. Alll RIGHT.

(Mostly) all joking aside, though, what would I do if I ran the Zoo? A few thoughts:

• have more art and music taught in schools
• abolish billboards
• bigger libraries, with higher paid librarians
• more funding for the UN
• tax breaks for people who recycle, and for people who bike to work
  
• frisbee more popular than football
• start breaking down the military-industrial complex
  
• more cobblestoned streets
• un-invent drugs. (...unfortunately, this is a very hypothetical world...)
  
• have mango trees in my backyard
  
• more bike racks
• lower the prices of: climbing shoes, ice cream, hand lotion, tie-dye kits and laundromats
• more stores closed on Sundays
• no torture, ever.
• give funding for free concerts in the summer
• live in a place where the Wasatch Front meets the North Atlantic Ocean
• more local businesses!
  
• lose the drug taboo on dreds
• be able to slackline/hang hammocks on BYU campus

• and, as a shout out to the newly Oscar-ed Ms. Bullock: World Peace.

And what about YOU? What would YOU do if you ran the Zoo?